is the easiest and hardest thing to do on this planet.
Have you ever walked around and hid your true self? I do this all the time, every moment in public, even at home, I don’t say what I mean and I don’t act like myself. I kills me to. Outside I am completely different from what I am inside. Outside I am too shy to talk. I hide under my boring clothes and sit alone in a corner. I listen to what others say but I don’t say anything back. I fake a smile and act…well…I don’t know. There’s no way to explain this. All I can say is that I’ve finally realized that this is killing me.
So, who am I, really? If you asked me two weeks ago, I would of shrugged and lied, saying I’m a shy girl who likes to read. Really?! That’s not who I am! I’m a kind girl who’s tired of everyone’s’ BS. I’m the kindest girl on earth and the meanest thing in this town. I have an attitude and I was never afraid to show it. I’ll fight someone tooth and nail. I don’t believe in reality and restrictions. I believe in God and strength. I believe in fighting for who I am. In my definition of the word, I am a bad***.
I don’t mean the kids who get drunk and do drugs and act like their the coolest thing on Earth. I think a bad*** is a person who stands up for themselves and will fight with everything they’ve got. I think their a person whose fed up with it all and is ready to kick in doors.
I’ve reached this point in my life where I don’t want to be someone else. I want to be the person God made me to be. I’m kind but tough and I’m ready to fight back.
Today, I want you to do the same. Whatever makes you you, you’ve got to grab on and be yourself. I just wasted the last four years of my life pretending to be a person I’m not. Don’t make this stupid mistake. I’ve learned from it and you’ll appreciate it you learn from my mistake to.
It’s not easy though. Today, I should have spoken up like God called me to and I wanted to. My inner person told me to speak up but I didn’t. My little sister asked this lady if God was a girl or a boy. They lady said that when she was little, everyone told her God was a boy. She also said, “God is whatever you want him to be.” *facepalm* She was nice but not correct and I should have said something but I didn’t. That’s okay though. I regret it, I ask for forgiveness, and I don’t forget to speak up next time.
I’ve got a long way to go in my journey of being myself and I can’t wait until I have more stories to tell you all.
P.S. Read this amazing post: Amazing!!: The advice this blogger gives is priceless.
P.S.S. I should also mention that by attitude I mean, I am extremely sarcastic. It’s how I get my kicks.